This writer is looking for an agent.

spy3@columbia.edu

To The World's Most Visionary Agent (And A Warning To Tall Tyrants Everywhere):

"The Dawn of the New Age brings the advent of global democracy. The high valuation of the Short Man's skills coincides with the growth of his political power. Short Men, the majority of the global male population, have begun receiving the message of the all-pervading Western Media. Some non-Western governmental institutions have already been co-opted by the all-pervading Western Media's Tall Propaganda: the bureaucratic regime of the People's Republic of China has adopted a program of denying shorter candidates government posts. With the strength of numbers, we Short Men are poised to answer back. Voting with our wallets, we will stamp out the anti-short bias in the Western Media! Voting at the ballot box, we will oust the Tall Tyrants from leadership forever!
"Without the cultural brain-washing of Tall Propaganda, women will awake from their millennia-long delirium. With civilization firmly under the control of Short Men, the wax figures atop the wedding cake will assume more varied relative heights. Women would be free to bestow their favors upon the Short Man. The Tall Man's theory that 'size matters' would finally be subject to widespread and repeated testing.
"Let us not eradicate the Short Man by chemical suicide -- let us embrace him as out Ideal Type. Let all Short Men of the world rebel from the crushing psychological weight imposed upon them by the all-pervading Western Media. Let us meet our calling and take up the reins of a civilization whose needs meet our abilities. Let us suffer the Tyranny of the Tall not one moment longer! Short Men of all nations, Unite!"

These very words -- preceded by many others -- conclude “The Manifesto of the Short Man,” published in The Massachusetts Review, Vol. XLVI, No. 4, available at www.massreview.org/4604/yerawadekar.html. I, Sameer Yerawadekar, its visionary author, await the assistance of an equally visionary agent in my quest to publish this Manifesto as part of a volume of Seven brilliant Screeds, each poised to set the world aflame. In addition to the troubles and ultimate triumph of the Short Man, this volume will address the loathsome Red Sox, infantile vegans, indolent heat-lovers, dangerous aesthetes, despicable Frenchmen, and impenetrable young women. My views on this last topic have already been published in the 2006 issue of Alligator Juniper. In addition, my discussions regarding the loathsome Red Sox and dangerous aesthetes were awarded Honorable Mentions in the Arizona Authors’ Association 2005 Creative Nonfiction Writing Competition.
It is imperative that the world receive these revolutionary messages. In just one little red book, these Seven Screeds will change history! Who will help me make this book a reality?

Greatness beckons,

Sameer Yerawadekar

The Manifesto of the Short Man, at www.massreview.org/4604/yerawadekar.html

“A Yankee Solution to the Threat from the East,” and “Invasion of the Aesthetes:”
Honorable Mention in the Arizona Authors’ Association 2005 Creative Nonfiction Writing Competition.

The Seven Screeds: Studies in Logic Revealing the Crises Awaiting Man in the Twenty-First Century (essay collection)
Worldview: Thoughts on Big Ideas Without the Appropriate Humility (book-length essay)